Its not about what you say, but how you say it

When our children were young, my husband always knew how to get their attention. He would kneel to their level and in a quiet and gentle whisper, he would proceed with his words of correction and counsel. They would both quickly calm down, listen carefully and then comprehend what he was trying to get across.

This was a breakthrough to say in the least. For I had spent the last several minutes demanding their attention, by my highly raised voice, and getting little to no response from them both.

Scripture repeatedly instructs us to be careful with the tone of our words. It is not what we say; it’s how we say it that matters! Look at Proverbs 25:15 for example.

We are told that patient and kind words can persuade leaders to change their mind and soft and gentle words can break the strongest resistance.

Word choices and tone can leave a lasting impression either favorably or unfavorably on another person. Look how tone makes a difference in these two verses.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.—Proverbs 15:1 NLT

A soothing tongue [speaking words that build up and encourage] is a tree of life, But a pervasive tongue [speaking words that overwhelm and depress] crushes the spirit.—Proverbs 15:4 AMP

Jesus knew how to speak to people. His words had the ability to connect with an individual or a crowd of people and keep them engaged. He spoke with a gracious tone, and it affected how the people heard Him.

Everyone was impressed by how well Jesus spoke, in awe of the beautiful words of grace that came from his lips.—Luke 4:22 TPT

Have you ever found yourself having a conversation with someone and then realize a few minutes later the person isn’t listening anymore? They are no longer engaged in the conversation and seem distant and distracted.

In Ephesians 4:29 (TPT), we are encouraged to let your words become beautiful gifts that encourage others but if people aren’t listening, then how are we impacting lives?

For people to hear what we have to say, it matters how we say it. Peter wrote that we are to be ready to answer anyone who asks about our hope in Jesus and to do this in a gentle and respectful way (1 Peter 3:15-16) because it is not what we say; it’s how we say it that matters.

In a world full of outrage and anger over so many issues, let’s choose our words wisely. Let’s allow the Holy Spirit to produce a tone of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in our words.  

Let’s influence the world around us with words that bring life, healing and hope!

Blessings,

Cindy

Are you in the process?

The Bible is filled with references to grapes, farming of grapes, and the process of making wine. In fact, the grapevine is mentioned more than any other plant in the entire Bible.

When we read John 15, unless we understand the process that the grapes go through, it’s very hard for us to get the visual image that Jesus is talking about.

As the the grapes grow, they have to go through the normal process any fruit has to go through- getting the right temperature, receiving the right fertilization in the soil, and soaking in the right amount of moisture.

They are constantly pruned by gardeners so that only the best grapes survive. Any branch that does not bear fruit, has to be cut off in order for the other grapes to survive. (See John 15:2)

They have to be constantly attached to the vine. A grape that falls to the ground will have no connection to nutrients- and will soon wither and die. It must remain connected to the branch in order to receive everything it needs on a daily basis. (See John 15:4)

Any variable difference in the soil, the humidity or the temperature could change the taste and the bitterness of the juice.

Then after months of them sitting on the vine, they are plucked out of their familiarity, and pressed, but not crushed, several times to get the Juice flowing. (See 2 Corithians 4:8)

Then the juice would flow into vats, that were sealed, and then put into a dark cool place for them to start the fermentation process.

Modern cheaper wines are only in the fermentation process for a few weeks, but more expensive wines stay hidden in their vats or bottles for years and years.

Modern wines have a worker that goes through and checks on the vats constantly to see if they’re being rotated and their humidity is being constant. Any sediment that settles to the bottom of the glass would be filtered or cut off, out so that only the pure Wine is left.

There are stories about bottles waiting around during the fermentation process and exploding because of the pressure. They weren’t willing to go through the process and could no longer take the pressure.

A modern fine wine waits underground for 15-20 years before it sees the light of day.

In our microwave and instant cart world, it’s hard for us to imagine something taking 15 to 20 years to see its full potential. But this is the process that Christians have to go through in their spiritual journey.

The Christian life is a marathon and not a sprint. There are seasons of learning and growing, and seasons of waiting. There are seasons of “being pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned” (see 2nd Corinthians 4:8)

There are seasons where we feel like the pressure of life might be more than we can take. Romans 8:18 talks about our current sufferings do not compare to the future glory that will be revealed in us.

So if you feel like you’re going through a hard process, rejoice and be glad because you’re being refined and pruned to be used by God in amazing ways!

Armor Up

When the Apostle Paul talked about the Armor if God Ephesians 6, he modeled it after Ancient Roman combat equipment used during his day.

At the time, Rome was in it’s hay day of world domination- where their technology, metal work and battle tactics were some of the greatest in the world.

Armor was usually only one sided- only the breast plate cover the spine and kidneys- leaving legs and trunk exposed. So it was imparitive you face the enemy and retreat was no an option.

Paul wrote about six pieces of equipment and a seventh bonus weapon here in Ephesians 6.

The Breastplate of Righteous- it protects a soldier’s vital organs. Our righteous with God protects our hearts. Guard your heart as Proverbs 4:23 says “For it is the well spring of life”

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Footwear of The Gospel of Peace-

Helps us to walk in peace with everyone with the power of holding the greatest news of all time- the story of the gospel. In ancient Roman Times- the footwear the had contained pieces of glass- to get a secure footing and not retreat.

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The shield of faith- usually a 4-5 foot shield so that one could hide their entire body behind it.

Also was used in connection with other soldiers to hide an entire battalion behind to extinguish flaming arrows or take ground. So our partnership with other believers enhances our stance and increases our defense.

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Helmet of salvation-

used to protect our minds and thoughts from oppressive and depressive thoughts that are against the “knowledge of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:12 talks about “We have the mind of Christ.”

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The sword (or dagger) of the spirit-

used for close-contact fighting. Hebrews 4:12 talks about the weapon that God’s word is to expose and penetrate any situation with hidden truth and light.

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The Belt of Truth-

holds all the armor together. Also contained loops to hold other equipment- like a utility belt. God’s truth hold everything together in our lives. Our circumstances might look one way- but God’s truth speaks over us another.

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Prayer- the secret hidden weapon

Prayer is what activates the armor to be used and strengthen daily. First Thessalonians 5:17 says “Pray without ceasing.”

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Are you amoring up daily? Using prayer as an activator to access your armor?

Read Ephesians 6 here:

“Finally, build up your strength in union with the Lord and by means of his mighty power. Put on all the armour that God gives you, so that you will be able to stand up against the Devil's evil tricks.

For we are not fighting against human beings but against the wicked spiritual forces in the heavenly world, the rulers, authorities, and cosmic powers of this dark age. So put on God's armour now! Then when the evil day comes, you will be able to resist the enemy's attacks; and after fighting to the end, you will still hold your ground.

So stand ready, with truth as a belt tight round your waist, with righteousness as your breastplate, and as your shoes the readiness to announce the Good News of peace. At all times carry faith as a shield; for with it you will be able to put out all the burning arrows shot by the Evil One. And accept salvation as a helmet, and the word of God as the sword which the Spirit gives you.

Do all this in prayer, asking for God's help. Pray on every occasion, as the Spirit leads. For this reason keep alert and never give up; pray always for all God's people.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:10-18‬ ‭GNB‬‬